A Life shaped by the Kashmir Conflict

Mr Rasul in Kuwait in the 1960s

Mr Rasul at Southend on Sea in 2001 with the Great Croft Resource Centre

Mr Rasul and family, 1977

I was born in Indian Kashmir in 1930. I left Kashmir when I was 15 years old and came to Shimla, a part of India, a very famous place. So many people came to Shimla to work, because in Kashmir there wasn't too much work, there were only farmers, but no factories, no industry and too much snow - 14, 16 feet snow in winter and everything is covered. I left to get work. At that time there was no English school in Kashmir, only religious school, that's why I still don't know English.

There were some friends with me, other youngsters. Four to five friends, we all left together to go to Shimla, as a challenge. We left Kashmir and just walked to Shimla: it took 15 days. It was summer time, not winter, so not too many things needed, only some clothes and food along the way.

Because I was so young, I couldn't get any work in Shimla. Everyone refused, saying you can't come here. At that time there was the Hindu/Muslim fighting. After one year, by 1947, the way I came to Shimla I couldn't go back, because at that time was the fighting. They closed the border, all communication broke down. There was no travelling from Kashmir to Shimla because people were being killed on the way.

There were three English schools there in Shimla, very nice schools. The local government sent us to the English schools for safety. Two/three weeks like this we stayed in theses schools, can't go out, staying in overnight, getting food and accommodation, helping washing, bathing, working in the kitchen, saving food. After six weeks they shipped the school to another place, with everyone in the Muslim community staying there: maybe 1000, so lots of Muslim people. They were coming from all over Shimla.

After one month a train comes to Shimla to take us to Pakistan, with the Pakistani military, taking the Muslim people to Lahore. The Hindu force went to the Hindu part of Pakistan, bringing all the Hindu people to India. If you're Muslim you have to live in Pakistan.

I knew nothing about the separation that was going on: what did the politicians think, what did the Hindus think, what did the Muslims think, I knew nothing. During the riot time I was listening to the radio and the announcements saying don't go to this area or that area, there is a riot going on, with people killing each other. But I had no idea about the separation going on, or the partitioning. I had never known before about the politicians: Kashmir was like a village, especially where I was born, so I didn't know anything.

... On the ship they kept me in one room, closed, locked. They say, you stay inside, because this is Iraq. Then the boat came back to Kuwait, and the officer says ok come out, because my visa was there. ...

For 15 days I was in a refugee camp in Calcutta, en route to Lahore. There were 18 000 Muslims in the refugee camp. I stayed there 15 days and they gave just one glass of water and flour a day, just to stay alive.

So I went to Lahore. Well in Lahore I don't know anybody, I don't speak Urdu, only my own Kashmiri language. In Lahore Hindu properties are on fire, where Hindus are living, the whole house is burning because of the Muslims. So Hindus were running away from Lahore, Muslims were running away from Shimla, so both people are running. I saw people running and shooting, killing each other. Blood everywhere.

I didn't have any belongings. The only safe items was Bibles and Korans; they were taking money, taking scissors and knives at the railway station, but the only items that were safe were religious. People who had money put the money in the stitching of their collars to hide it.

I was in Lahore for two months. It was like a refugee camp, in the daytime going out and searching for a job. I met this guy at the hospital in Lahore when I was looking for a job there and he became a good friend. He had studied a degree in England to become a doctor and after studying he had gone to Africa to work for six months. He ended up sending me a visa asking him to come to Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania's capital to join him so I can work there.

I lived in Dar-es-Salaam for six years. I was cooking there in a restaurant. From there I went to Aden, the capital of Yemen. I left because the doctor's wife left her job to go to a job in Yemen, so I have a connection with him and he takes me there also.

My nationality then changed to British. Before I was travelling on a Pakistani passport. Then after five years the Pakistani passport is finished. There was no embassy, no Indian embassy, no Pakistani embassy. I have to take a British passport because I was already five years in a British colony (Tanzania).

I went to Yemen for two years. After two years, that gentleman he left to go to Kuwait so I went to Kuwait as well because he likes me very much. When I reached Kuwait, Kuwait won't allow me to come into the country because I don't have a visa. The doctor had told me, you go away on a ship, when you return from Iraq on the ship, I will make your visa ready. On the ship they kept me in one room, closed, locked. They say, you stay inside, because this is Iraq. Then the boat came back to Kuwait, and the officer says ok come out, because my visa was there.

In Kuwait I took a job in a hospital, a private 60 bed hospital. I was the supervisor; I used to look after all the paperwork. I was married in 1969 in Kuwait. My wife is Eqyptian. I met her in the same hospital; she used to work there. It was a love marriage.

I came to London in 1973 with my wife, had two children here, and lived here for seven years. I lived opposite Kilburn High Road. I worked in the doctor's big villa: I used to live in his nine bedroom property, looking after the property, and then do cooking when he came to stay in London for four to five months. After seven years here I went back to Kuwait.

... My life now is the best life because I have security and no fear, no worries. ...

In 1991, just before Suddam Hussein attacked Kuwait, I was on a holiday in Egypt with all the children. After one month there, Suddam Hussein attacked Kuwait and I was stuck. I couldn't travel for one year. The children were at a good English school in Kuwait but in Egypt it was very difficult: new language, new place. Because so many Kuwaity children try to come here there are no places in schools. We have no money. I went to the embassy and tried to get the children admitted to school, but because so many Kuwaity children come, there were no schools free. At that time I can't think what to do, anyway my three children eventually got a place in school but I had to pay money for their admission.

After two years when Suddam left Kuwait, I went back to Kuwait again. The hospital took me back again, but after a while because of arthritis I can not work any more. So I left Kuwait completely and come to Egypt, and from Egypt I came here, because my children were born here. I came back here in 1999/2000.

I lost my whole family. I have six sisters, two brothers, father and mother, that time I came from Shimla. After that I didn't see their face. Because the Kashmiri problem is still running, so many problems. I visited one time from London to India, India to Kashmir, only staying two to three months. At that time my mother and father were dead already.

After I married I have my own family now and it's a problem where I go now: here or there. You know I have worked for a property, I have car, everything, but they all gone. The building I lived in in Kuwait, the whole door is broken, people damaged my property, everything is empty. I have brought property in three places in the world, but everything is gone because of moving. But I don't care. God give to me again, my property is my three children.

I can't stay in Kashmir now. I can't prove I am Kashmiri. Nobody believes me. I can go visit, but only a holiday. If the Kashmir problem finishes, then probably I can go.

My life now is the best life because I have security and no fear, no worries. Anytime you go out, nobody asked where are you living, what are you doing. I never forgot my family and never forgot my own land. I used to cry every night to go back to Kashmir. I was thinking to go back one day. Everything I remember: rivers, mountains, every bit of Kashmir. Now I'm like a stone inside.

An extract of this story is also available in Bengali. Download the story here.

This story was recorded as part of a joint project between the Great Croft Resource Centre, King's Cross, London and Moving Here in January 2004. The Great Croft Resource Centre is an Age Concern Camden facility. To find out more about Age Concern Camden go to www.ageconcerncamden.org.uk.